Messianic man hopes worship team sings “Roni, Roni” enough times for him to finish Amidah

TORONTO — While the worship team at Shir Olam Messianic congregation starts in on their fourth round of “Roni Roni Bat Tziyon,” observant Messianic man Shimon A. Essray is hoping he can complete the Amidah before an awkward silence occurs. Essray discreetly brought along his Artscroll Siddur in the hopes that he could complete the […]

Read More Messianic man hopes worship team sings “Roni, Roni” enough times for him to finish Amidah

This year’s Meuchad worship conference to focus less on music, more on hilchos korbanos

The annual Messianic worship conference Meuchad is taking a new direction this year. According to a statement released by the organization, the focus will no longer be on music, but on the halachos of korbanos. “Worship should unite us,” said a Meuchad spokesperson. “To achieve the best unity possible, we wanted to reach back to […]

Read More This year’s Meuchad worship conference to focus less on music, more on hilchos korbanos

Updated Messianic liturgy PowerPoint slides feature beautiful stock photos of observant Jews davening from an actual siddur

LOVELAND, CO. — Members of Beth Tefillah Messianic Congregation are thrilled to use their new liturgy presentation this Shabbat. The Microsoft PowerPoint slideshow features a handful of arbitrarily selected portions from the traditional Jewish prayers, enhanced with beautiful and inspiring images of Orthodox Jews praying from real siddurim. “We feel that these beautiful slides help […]

Read More Updated Messianic liturgy PowerPoint slides feature beautiful stock photos of observant Jews davening from an actual siddur

Messianic man resigns from dance team, leaves opening for coveted position of Chubby, Balding Guy

RENO, NV. — Congregation Shouts of Joy announced Thursday that their Davidic dance team has a new opening for the position of Chubby, Balding Guy. The member who previously held the role, Shimi Walzer, had to resign due to scheduling conflicts. Anyone interested in applying for this position should contact dance team coordinator Mayim Cherkessia.

Read More Messianic man resigns from dance team, leaves opening for coveted position of Chubby, Balding Guy

Messianic man’s perfectly-timed shofar blast leads angelic hosts to victory

VICKSBURG, MS. — Heavenly sources reported a major angelic victory Wednesday, claiming control of a key demonic stronghold. Local Messianic man Warren Himmel is credited with guiding angelic legions to victory with a skillful blast of his antelope horn at just the right moment. “We were surrounded by demonic militants from all directions,” said a […]

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OPINION: If our praise and worship had a more authentic klezmer sound, more Jews would get saved

If you ask me, the reason Jews don’t get saved when they walk into the doors of our Messianic congregations is because they don’t feel at home. And nothing makes Jews feel more at home than klezmer. You know, that European Jewish folk music with the violin, clarinet, accordion and such. To be honest, most […]

Read More OPINION: If our praise and worship had a more authentic klezmer sound, more Jews would get saved