Messianic Flat Earthers disperse around ice wall, synchronize ring of shofar blasts to herald Messiah

Messianic members of the Worldwide Association For FLat Earth (WAFFLE), announced a plan to surround the world with shofar blasts.

Representatives from the group will send members in the various southerly directions until they reach the wall of ice around the edge of the Earth.

“At that point we will be at the farthest possible distance from one another,” said flat-earth proponent Giovanni “Gio” Sendrick. Citing a verse from Deuteronomy, Sendrick believes that that if Israel is dispersed to the ends of the earth, then God will gather them together and the Messiah will return. “We are excited to see what happens when we blow the shofars. Maybe we will all end up gathered into one place.”

The global organization nearly divided a year ago when some members asserted that the Earth must be square, since the Bible talks about its “four corners.” But this discrepancy was reconciled by WAFFLE’s Messianic members using their extensive knowledge of Torah. They simply pointed out that trousers do not literally have four corners either, yet one fulfills the commandment of tzitzit (corner fringes) by attaching them to one’s belt loops. “It’s amazing what clarity a Hebrew perspective can bring,” said Sendrick.

landscape photography of glacier on ocean

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